My Top 10 Most Pimpinest Actors

My top ten actors who could probably get any woman of their choice and why.

10. Paul Walker

Dude looks like this. Now I asked a lot of girls about which actor, if they could choose one, they would want to be their man. ALL of them named someone and said "because he's soooooo sexy." So I never want to hear any of you complaining about how guys are shallow when really society as a whole is shallow.

"Have you ever looked directly into his eyes? It was like the first time I heard the Beatles." He has intense eyes, which he utilizes in his film 2 Fast 2 Furious. As he drives through traffic at like 250mph staring directly into what we can only assume are the "eyes" of Eva Mendes, he wins us all over. Guys want to be able to drive like him and start questioning their manhood, while women start having heart palpitations because they really believe he is staring at them. Girls love the idea of him being a bad ass cop hanging out with sexy criminal scumbags like Tyrese. Do yourselves a favor and don't watch this with your girl, she will start getting mad at you for not being as smooth as Paul Walker.

9. Pierce Brosnan

"The names Bond, James Bond." Anyone that can introduce themselves so arrogantly has got to be one bad mother... There have been a number of actors that played James Bond, but Pierce Brosnan is who people my age grew up watching in the movies "Golden Eye" and "Tomorrow Never Dies." There was even a video game based on Golden Eye on the N64 platform, classic. As Bond, Brosnan saved the world from criminal masterminds with enough time to seduce some of the sexiest women in the world in-between jobs. Shooting at people while wearing a completely unbuttoned button down shirt, dodging bullets, and still having the ability to smoothly deliver corny English catch phrases simultaneously? I dare you to say no to Pierce Brosnan.

The spin-off film franchise of the "Bond" series was Austin Powers, which gets Canadian actor Mike Myers a tie at 9th on the list of my top 10 most pimpinest actors. With a mouth full of rotten teeth, but an unforgettable and unmatchable charm, Austin was able to turn the most evil and most sexy villains into his very own sexy slaves, not to mention he LITERALLY blew the minds of the classic and extremely original 'fembots.'





8. Ashton Kutcher

Absolute clown. A sense of humor that can make Justin Timberlake shed a tear or two. How could a woman say no to that? Constant entertainment whenever you need it, sometimes I'm sure it could be a bit much, but Ashton was able to bag a big time cougar, and he deserves kudos for that. He was able to survive the test of meeting the family of his black fiancée in Guess Who, he overcame all types of drama in an accidental marriage to who turned out to be his dream girl (Cameron Diaz) in What Happens in Vegas, and when everything went wrong during his honeymoon in Just Married, he was still able to come out somehow looking like a superhero. A similar comedic style to the likes of Ben Stiller, where everything goes wrong, Ashton is able to manipulate women into thinking it is all going right..

7. Matthew McConaughey

Shirt off in every movie he's ever been in, Matthew McConaughey uses every topless opportunity to woo his generally female audience. With this and his slick little Texan accent mixed with the suave roles he gets casted into, McConaughey could quite easily bag any girl he wanted.







6. George Clooney

Sexiest man alive in 1997 and 2006. Twice? Need I say more? Always plays a smooth cat, confident in every move he makes, witty and bright with no wrinkles in his plans. The man is ageing gracefully, what is the male equivalent to a cougar? Ladies this is it, and don't try to deny it. George Clooney would make you have a heart attack - and then revive you with some serious ER experience.





5. Will Ferrell

Yes Will Ferrell is at number 5. If his classic sense of humor is not enough for you - he wrote Anchorman. He is obviously an intelligent individual with an eye for detail. Some of the things he does/says in that movie, when not acting like a fool are pure forms of seduction. Don't buy it? In The Other Guys he plays an ex-pimp, he knows how to take care of his bitches. And finally, in Wedding Crashers he plays 'Chazz,' who is just "living the dream!" He lives at home with his mother and seduces the some of the most attractive women at weddings and funerals. Who else could come up with such brilliance other than someone who is obviously a seduction artist.

PS. His wife in Old School is super hot.

4. Mel Gibson

"I wouldn't date him, what an asshole," is what every girl reading this either thought or said. But you are wrong. This is the guy who starred in What Women Want. He knows exactly what you are thinking and he will mind-fuck you. I don't like to curse too much on my blog, but that is exactly what he will do. "But what about those abusive voice mails?" you ask. What about them? I just told you he knows what goes on inside the heads of women. He wanted to piss you off, so he said anything he could to do it. He is too famous and wants some time to himself, so he decided that all the females following him were going to feel his wrath. Remember this man is Braveheart - how did you think he knew all of those fighting words? Mel Gibson is killing the game right now, I sort of regret not having him in my top 2.

3. Will Smith

If you find my earlier blog about pickup lines you will see that The Fresh Prince was my example of corny ways to pick up women. However, Will Smith does not need to be corny. He is one of the most lovable actors in showbiz. Name one movie in which you did not like him and identify with his character. Don't worry, I'll wait...

You cannot name one because there is not one. I hope you didn't forget about Bad Boys. This is THE Mike Lowry - ultimate ladies man. Will Smith, not unlike Mike Lowry, is a smooth talking, well dressed, funny, talented, handsome gentleman. If you're telling me you would say no to Will Smith - you are a liar. He didn't get a wife like Jada by having no game.

2. Charlie Sheen

"But isn't he a drug addict?" No stupid, he WAS a drug addict. Charlie Sheen is "winning," with 2 cute young girlfriends, a giant mansion, fast cars, a cigar safe, a killer sense of humor, the most entertaining interviews of all time, and an intense personality that cannot be described with words from the vocabulary of mere mortals. There are three parts to the heart of Charlie Sheen; valves, love, and tiger blood. Yeah, he said tiger blood. It's extraterrestrial comments like this that make Sheen so mysterious, which girls love. Don't believe me? Show a girl a magic trick and get back to me about how amused she is and will remain to be for as long as you know her. How else is Sheen winning? He plays himself on the television show 2 and a half men they don't necessarily say its him, but he dresses the same as he does in real life, dates younger women, and has the same intense sense of humor. What is more perfect than getting paid millions to act as yourself? Then getting kicked off the show and suing for millions that he was not paid. Charlie Sheen lives the dream and he knows that you want to be a part of it. Don't lie to him and tell him that you don't because he will strike you over the head repeatedly with the lightning bolt he caught while riding his pet Diplodocus.


1. Neil Patrick Harris

Controversial number one pick? No. Maybe he's gay in real life, but every role he plays is the ultimate ladies man. In the Harold and Kumar movies he is doing lines of coke off of naked women. DON'T DO DRUGS, but there is a certain aspect of awesome in that. And at this point in his career, NPH is known for his role of 'Barney Stinson' in How I Met Your Mother. He lives by the 'bro-code,' sleeps with a different woman every night, has rules for his relationships with women, and "suits up" every day of his life. If he wasn't gay I could see him living this way in his real life. Conversely, being gay helped him get the number one spot. Why do girls love having gay friends? Because they know what males and females want. NPH is essentially Mel Gibson, George Clooney, and Charlie Sheen all rolled in to one magical joint and smoked with a Will Ferrell lighter. What up.