Pet Peeve #3 – Date Night

Why does Friday night have to be date night? What is this pathetic unwritten rule? Is Friday a part of it? If I give up my Friday night for you it makes everything more special? I like to spend time with my boys on Friday nights, drinking, acting a fool, enjoying my weekend. Instead Friday night has to be date night. This means I can’t relax on a Friday, I have to spend my money and feel uncomfortable and pressured making sure I impress this girl. Ugh, what a terrible social convention.

                Friday night date night is not only an inconvenience, but there is nothing to do at night, here are the options: dinner, movie, karaoke, bowling, or clubbing. Are you kidding me?

                Dinner is super cliché, but it is still expected, whether you take her out or cook it you are under pressure. Hopefully she is not a vegetarian or allergic to anything, that will really put a spanner in the works. If the meal is shit, she is going to question your cooking skills or restaurant judgment. How can you win in this situation? Obviously you have to ask her what her favorite food is and what her favorite restaurant is, but then the odds are that she has sat in that same restaurant with another guy before you. If that’s not uncomfortable, I don’t know what is.

                Movies are the worst date choice of all time. While it does take away the awkward chit-chat, it takes away all talking. How do you get to know someone if you take them to the movies? If you choose the movie, odds are she will hate it (if you are honest with yourself and see the movie you want to see). If you let her choose you will look ridiculous walking into 27 Dresses. However, if you cook the awkward meal at home and watch a DVD, there is a chance that you can each watch a DVD of your choice (if that is how important movie time is) and you are already at your house so you don’t need to ask if she would like to come back with you – you can just make sneaky little moves while you watch MOVIES AFTER DARK.

Karaoke might be a good date. I wouldn’t know since I’m not down with embarrassing myself in public. Surely it would get originality points, if you have been on a karaoke date PLEASE comment and tell me how it went. I will be surprised if I get a comment. I might go into cardiac arrest if the date was a success.

Bowling is a terrible idea. You have to spend 20 minutes finding the ball you want unless you have your own. If you have your own where do you keep it in your home? What a waste of space. And when you don’t what it anymore what do you do with it? You can’t put it in the trash. Bowling balls aren’t biodegradable. If it has your name on it you can’t give it away, unless someone shares your name AND your passion for a ridiculous sport and date idea. No one shares my name… Anyway, once you have your ball sorted you have to put on shoes that a million people have worn. I will avoid a tangent on this. But it’s gross and should be illegal. Once you have your sweaty shoes and ball which your fingers don’t quite fit in, competition begins. Is there anyone out there willing to let a girl beat them at anything? And if you truly do lose are you going to be in a good mood for the rest of the night? Never compete on date night. Date night shouldn’t even be a night, but never compete on date night. As a matter of fact, save competition for when your relationship is concrete and you know no one is going anywhere. Competition can tear relationships apart. Bowling. What a nonsensical suggestion, I apologize for even writing about such a preposterous proposal.

Clubbing. Are you kidding me? If this is your date night you are single. Invite your boys and pretend you just ran into them. Don’t get mad when your girl goes home with someone else. If you bring your girl to the club, she’s fair game. If you are in a relationship you have more of a chance keeping your girl when she goes to the club with her girlfriends. Girls LOVE to cockblock, and “She has a boyfriend,” is a layup in the cockblocking game. Make sure you are friends with her friends in this situation.

This is why I hate date night. There are limited things to do and I want to chill out with my friends. Date day on the other hand would make much more sense. Sunday? Farmers market? Putt-putt? A nice walk outdoors? A drive and a simple picnic? A bike ride? So many activities. That’s a social convention I could get into if I was dating. Date night, huge pet peeve.