When it is someone’s birthday, if
you did not know it was their birthday or you are not friends with them, do not
write happy birthday on their wall like you miss them. If you see someone and
tell them happy birthday, do not write on their wall afterwards. If you said
happy birthday in the morning, you do not need to say happy birthday every time
you see them for the rest of the day. Do less.
If you are really someone’s friend
you have their number, so call them, text them, or here’s something crazy: see
them! And please, don’t call, text, facebook, tweet, and email them. One is
fine, as long as it is not via social network. That’s cheating. Social networks
tell you people’s birthdays. That is why there are so many fake people out
there that are able to talk shit about you, but still act like they were
thinking about you on your birthday. I would rather get one text from one real
friend than 2000 “happy bday clay” wall posts. You couldn’t even capitalize my
name on my birthday? The anniversary of when I was brought in to existence? You
couldn’t capitalize? But you still took the time to write almost nothing on my
wall didn’t you? So I can’t be mad. Yes. I. Fucking. Can.
There are exceptions. People who
are overseas may write a happy birthday wall post. It can get costly to call
and text from overseas, I can understand that. But you better capitalize,
believe that. And try to do more than “happy bday x” or “happy bday clay have a
good one.” Punctuate. Tell a joke. Capitalize my fucking name. Remember
birthday cards? Send one. Send a corny birthday card.. But that’s a totally
separate pet peeve.
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