Halloween Special

Happy Halloween people! And what a Halloween it was! I wish I could post photos of some of the costumes I saw, but I really don’t feel like going around getting everyone’s permission. Feel free to post some of your best costumes in the comment box. Anyway, on to the business end of Halloween. I have no idea how long Halloween has just been an excuse to dress like a tramp, but every year you hoes never cease to amaze me. As much as I know you will all be half naked, some of these costumes stun me. They truly stun me. I could be in the middle of a conversation and will be left both speechless and motionless, hoping that the parents of these young women never see them wearing these scandalous outfits.

                Now, my understanding was that Halloween was supposed to be a night where you dress up in a scary outfit. The only thing that scares me about the whorish costumes that I see on Halloween is that one day that might be my daughter – over my dead body might I add. I recognize the evolution of Halloween from scary to almost anything that is not you; however I cannot seem to fathom the acceptability of dressing like a nightwalker. This is a confusing concept, especially to men on college campuses.

                How can you dress like a slut and not expect to get treated like one? Men filled with testosterone are walking around campus absolutely inebriated looking for a shorty to take back to their room for a little trick or treat. Drunk guys are a little too forward at the best of times, so when you have your ass and titties advertised like a damn billboard, it’s a little surprising to us when you get mad when we give a forward offer/invitation for intercourse. I felt like I was in a strip club for the majority of the weekend, was I supposed to make it rain?

                You dress like an easy target, but you are harder to hit than a stealth aircraft. What is this game you are playing? What’s wrong with dressing like your favorite movie persona? Or the standard scary character? Or something with a little creativity!? I know you don’t all dress like whores, as I said, I saw some great costumes this weekend. I’m just saying, I think the ones that decide to dress like hoes, are hoes and they are pretending not to be hoes. So to all the thirsty guys that strike out early, stay out late and try not to pass out, because these hoes will be desperate by the end of the night. Believe that. I’m glad I’m just a silent observer, otherwise I could have had a very frustrating weekend.