The Pecking Order

When courting a potential lover, mind games are inevitable. Some of us have been told, “Don’t worry, I don’t play games, I say what I think and feel.” This is somewhat true, however we play mind games even when we think we are keeping it 100. Today I am going to tell you about how ‘pecking order’ and then who wears the proverbial ‘pants’ is established.

                Pecking order is the determination of a hierarchical order of potential sexual partners organized by both men and women in today’s “just in case” society. What do I mean by just in case? I mean that we have a Plan B just in case plan ‘A’ doesn’t work, however we seem to have a whole alphabet of plans when it comes to choosing a sexual companion. The following is what helps determine the pecking order in a woman’s eyes (and yes initially it is a question of physical attributes):

Height
Weight
Strength
Athletic ability aka how much money you make (or have the potential to make)
Ability to hold liquor and still throw darts well at the local bar
Jaw line
Hairstyle
Eyes
Smile
Biceps and abs
General overall attractiveness
Shoe size ;)

And after the barriers of shallowness have been passed by said suitor, the more intimate attributes start to matter more and switch up your spot in the pecking order. These attributes include:

Intellectual ability aka how much money you make (or have the potential to make)
Sensitivity
Generosity
Sweetness
What you have in common
Humor

This is generally where the male species start to slide down in the pecking order, at least in their first few attempts anyway. However, evolution has allowed us to adapt to overcome adversity and we have become considerably good at lying to make females believe we are what they consider acceptable human beings.

Now what helps determine the pecking order in a man’s eyes:

Pulse
Ass
Titties

                If somehow you qualify to get through these barriers, or you are just sneaky enough to trick us, this is what you need to have on a mental level:

Brain ;)
The ability to boost our ego on a regular basis
A job (not better than our job) so you can buy us sneakers from time to time

                Now that we know what we need to do to move up and down within the pecking order, it is an easy conclusion as to who wears the pants in the relationship, no matter what level you are on intimately; if the male sees the female as plan B, but the female sees the male as plan A, the male is the one wearing the pants. And vice versa.