Have you ever had an argument with your girl because… Well you really had no idea why? I know, frustrating right? It’s easy to turn around and tell your buddies, “That bitch is crazy!” However, you probably gave her a legitimate reason to get heated.
Has your girlfriend ever suggested you watch a movie with her and you told her, “No. That sounds gay.” If so, don’t go and watch that movie with your friends and then tell her how great it is.
Has your girlfriend ever told you she hates your ex-girlfriend that you’re still friends with? Well if you hang out with her, don’t tell your girl how much of a great time you had together. You already know females get to a fanatical level of jealousy that we as men do not know how to deal with.
Remember all the lies you told her when you were trying to get in her pants? When she inevitably finds out how many lies you told, she is going to try and gouge your eyes out with no warning and you are going to have to tell your workmates your cat was feeling extra playful. When they get mad they forget we are not mind readers and they trip even harder when we don’t know why they are acting crazy.
Remember how she forgave you when you cheated? You can’t ever talk to another female again. No matter how much she says she is over it. She will FREAK if she hears another woman’s voice on the phone, even if it is your mother – she won’t believe you. And remember how you used to be able to read your texts in peace? Never again. “Who’s that?” Always and forever.
Have you ever been like, “WHOA! What are you on PMS?” when you already know that’s not the problem but just can’t figure out what the actual problem is? Try to refrain yourself, because now you have a whole new problem to take care of, and whether she has PMS or not – you’re not getting any for a while.
Have you ever told your girl to “Shh” while you were watching television? Be grateful to wake up with your cable still attached. Oh and the TV cable too.
When your girl gets mad at you and you don’t know why, just be patient. She will expect you to work it out, but don’t waste your time, or else you will end up accidentally confessing to some shit she doesn’t even know about yet. Eventually she will tell you why she is mad, it might be a good reason, it might be completely absurd (typically the latter), but you can apologize for it and move on to your next drama.
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