Urban Dictionary says that a bromance is, "The complicated love and affection shared by two straight males." I for one know however, that if a woman is in a relationship with a man who shares a bromance, she is naturally inclined to get jealous about it. There seems to be a genetic predisposition in females to attempt to claim soul ownership of their ‘mate’. So ladies, where do you fit in to a bromance?
First we must find out, are you just overreacting over a friendship? Or is there really a bromance taking place? Symptoms of the bromance may include:
· The cancellation of plans between you and your man so he can chill with his boys
· The endless presence of the ‘bro-friend’, whether it be in person or on the phone
· Constant bromantic boys nights/weekends, lack of romantic couples nights/weekends
· Every story involves the bro-friend
Just so you know; this is the man’s life before he meets his woman, and it is a life that is hard to let go of, so when you start acting like a bitch about it and he acts all confused – it’s because he sees no problems with his behavior. When you say, “You should know what my problem is,” we confirm in our minds that you are acting irrationally and we instantly stop caring about what issue you have decided to fabricate with your very special imagination. Anyway, some of the side effects you may feel from your man’s bromance comprise of:
· A feeling of inadequacy compared to his bro-friend(s)
· A fear that your relationship is falling MASSIVELY short of your COLOSSAL expectations
· You think you have to compete for your man’s attention
· You have to pretend you are interested in things he talks about with his friends so you can gain acceptance
o Sports
o Video games
o Action movies
We know that ladies are all about spending quality time with their boyfriends. If you want your relationship to have any chance of reaching your oversized, Hollywood expectations, here are some tips that you might want to take seriously.
· NEVER blame us for blowing you off for our bromance. We will immediately begin to resent you for such selfishness. Driving a wedge between our relationship and our friends/families is not what we signed up for (contrary to popular belief).
· Stop sitting around crying and all that crap. While we are with our friends, that gives you time for your friends. Instead of dwelling on what you cannot control, look at the bright side and make the most of it.
· Do NOT try any of that ultimatum bullshit. Refer to Outside Influences.
· When we do spend time together, don’t expect us to just lie down for hours and stare in to your eyes. That shit’s boring and we have short attention spans. It’s all this stagnant activity that drives us to find a sideline-ho.
If your man is deep in to his bromance, there are a few things you can do to earn a little extra time with him (other than delete his bro-friends number from his phone).
· Identify with us. Acknowledge that you like to spend time with your friends too, but add that you would like a LITTLE extra time with us.
· Instead of talking all the time, do fun stuff with us – even if it’s not fun for you, we will be spending time together.
o Golf
o Pool
o Action movies
o Cards
o Video games
o Fun board games
o New sex positions
· Act like the girl we started dating, not the psychotic bitch you turned into afterwards.
If you try all of this and you still think you are not a high enough priority for your man, you are probably right. Time to re-evaluate your relationship and beg the friends you threw away to spend more time with your boyfriend, to take you back.
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