InterdePETndance

Are you in a serious relationship? Yes you say? I beg to differ. Until you and your partner buy a pet together, you are not in a serious relationship. You might be in a monogamous relationship. You might be in love. But you are not serious.

                What is my thought process here? We might not admit it, or even consciously think about it, but when we get a pet with the person we love – we are practicing. “Practicing for what, Clay?” Practicing for taking care of babies, seeing what kind of parents we will be, seeing if we can keep something alive that depends on us for food, shelter, love, and compassion. “Claybrin, that’s nonsense.” Okay, well start talking to your partner about getting a pet together and see what their reaction is. I’m telling you right now you might as well drop down on one knee and propose. A pet is a commitment; the only positive thing here is that animals aren’t emotionally screwed after their owners separate.

                When you decide to get a pet with your partner you are essentially saying “I do.” How do you go and buy something that you will both have an emotional connection to and expect to have an out clause? If by some miracle you do manage to escape the relationship, whoever is left with the animal is left with a constant reminder of their ex. As if getting over someone isn’t hard enough.

                Getting a pet together is only one step less stupid than getting matching tattoos. A tattoo is a permanent reminder of the person, so when you break up you feel like a real tool, and when you are trying not to think about them all you have to do is look at your imbecilic little tattoo on your ankle, or the wasted space on your wrist, or better still – the name tattooed on your heart… Ew. At least the pet will eventually die and take all its stupid little reminders with it.

                Get married first – then get pets.