Pet Peeve #22 - #YOLO

Hashtag, yolo. A movement I cannot even express how much I do not want to be a part of. “You only live once!” An age old expression, it was once used to motivate when people were acting like conservative little killjoys. Now acronymized into, “yolo,” and used as an excuse to act a fool.

                “You only live once,” does not mean, “drink as much as you can.” When I get offered a shot and I politely decline, the words, “C’mon, nigga, yolo!” are not going to make me rethink my decision.

                When you wake up next to a fat girl with cake all over her face and three used condoms next to your bed, “Fuck it, yolo.” does not excuse the filth that was your Saturday night.

                When you overdose on cocaine because you thought doing it in a sauna was more fun than doing it in a safe (and I use the word “safe” loosely) environment. If I speak at your funeral, your mother will not accept your idiotic death because of “yolo.”

                Not only do people use yolo as an excuse to act retarded, but sometimes they just feel the need to say it. Like they can’t even help it. Like it’s a reflex action, like a sneeze or something. I was in a conversation today where I was rudely interrupted by a more-than-obnoxious, “WHAT’S GOOD!?” I said, “Chillin, man. What’s good with you?” I fucking kid you not, I couldn’t even make this up, he straight faced told me, “You know I’m out here yolo.” I almost apologized because it seemed like a disability. A disability too many suffer from – “Yolosis.”

Thanks for the contagion, Wheechair Jimmy.