Pursuit of Happiness

Never let other people dictate your happiness. This may sound like good advice; it has a certain wisdom about it. However, after reflecting upon this guidance it occurred to me that all we do is look for people who make us happy. Our moods are hardly ever affected by internal factors. We get happy because someone did something nice and mad because someone screwed us.

                Obviously we would never seek out someone who pisses us off, but to tell me not to let other people dictate my happiness doesn’t make sense. The whole reason relationships are formed is because these people make our lives better in one way or another. We search our whole lives for a husband or a wife, someone who we love unconditionally, someone who can always keep a smile on our face.

                Everybody has dreams, some people achieve them with ease, and some people have to continually overcome adversity. When it looks like we are not going to reach a goal because of an uncontrollable factor, we need to take alternate routes. But if someone is in a position to help you achieve your goal and they don’t it is easy to have a pity party. These are the people who affect us emotionally regardless of the lack of an intimate relationship. When we encounter these people, we have to remember that there is another way to reach our goals, it may be a longer road, there may be more roadblocks, but it is another road nonetheless.

                Heartbreak leaves a rancid aftertaste. When you are in love with somebody and they break your heart, nothing will heal it but time… And that’s if you’re a lucky one. Searching for gratification in others will not fill the void left by that person. “There’s other fish in the sea,” doesn’t help. “The easiest way to get over someone is to get under someone else,” terrible advice, you might not think of them for a fraction of a second, but they will come creeping back into your head. Why? Because humans are emotional creatures. We have evolved not only to have physical reflexes, but emotional reflexes as well. We get addicted to love, and heartbreak is our withdrawal.

                My point? To be happy, we have to be vulnerable. If we let no one in, we never let ourselves out. We cannot reach our full potential by putting up a cold, tough front. We will be less happy by doing this because we will not let people into our lives due to the risk of disappointment. There are people out there who will make us happy and people who will make us sad. But if we give no one a chance, we don’t give ourselves a chance. Whether we like it or not, our happiness will always be determined by external factors. Find who makes you happy and hold on.