Pet Peeve #23 – Passenger Seat Drivers

If you want to drive, just say you want to drive. I’ve talked about people who are under the impression they are superior athletes or ESPN sports analysts even though they are at home sipping on a cold one. These people are somewhat similar to passenger seat drivers – they don’t want to drive, but they have no qualms in telling you what a shitty job you’re doing, or at least how much better they would be doing.

                If I’m driving 59 in a 60 and you see the needle slowly approaching the 60, don’t tell me, “Watch your speed, this is a 60.” I know this is a 60. I’m not speeding. I’m going 59.9. Everything is going to be alright. On the other end of the spectrum, if I am going 55 in a 60 I am fully aware. It probably means that I am not in a rush and I am driving somewhat safely, so don’t give me any, “This is a 60 bro come on! What are you waiting for!?” Truth is that I’m waiting for nothing. We are only driving five minutes to the store, it will still be there when we get there – I promise.

                Don’t act all afraid when I’m driving. Don’t tell me directions unless I ask. Don’t tell me you know a shortcut when you don’t. Don’t touch me. Don’t insinuate that I don’t know where I’m going. Don’t tell me what lane I should be in. Don’t tell me who and when to overtake. Don’t tell me, “Green means go.” Don’t evaluate my parking skill. Just sit in your fucking seat and play DJ or entertain me with some interesting conversation.