The Change Up

Earlier this week I was asked why guys change so much after they have sex with someone. It can be situational, but I am going to explain the most common reason for this change.

                We all have needs, both men and women. We all make choices. Some of us just think before we make our choices. Most of those thinkers are women. Men feel the need to act on their desires instantly, whereas women are better at waiting for “the right guy” or someone who they actually respect and find attractive. Once a guy sees someone new or hears rumors about someone, they feel like they must witness them in action. If it has been a little while since a guy has seen some action, all women start to become more attractive – even without beer. When this happens they will inevitably make a decision they will ultimately regret by finding a girl out one night, bringing her back to the room and taking care of business. As soon as it is over there is a realization that a mistake has been made and we transform from the charming guy that was conversing with you earlier in the night into the asshole kicking you out before you even have your clothes back on.

                If it is not a sexual escapade to put an end to a cold streak, it may just be fear of commitment. As we talk and hang out with someone, the sexual tension usually grows increasingly obvious. We work our charm, say all the right things, do all the right things, and put in the right amount of time until we get what we want. After we get what we want, be it once or numerous times – we lose interest. When we get that chance to end the sexual tension, another tension develops – post-sexual tension. Post-sexual tension occurs straight after sex when a guy will attempt to flee the scene like he has just committed a crime. Why does he do this? His brain is like, “Uh oh, she definitely loves me now, it is going to take forever to get her to leave me alone. To make this easier on myself I’ll just leave right now and ignore her from now on.” Well, bro, don’t flatter yourself. Generally women do respond to sex in more of an emotional way than men, but no matter what you did for her in there – she can do better herself. So no, your performance did not make her fall in love with you.

                Women may become clued in to the way we try to escape so promptly after sex. As stated above, women are the thinkers and they will strategize to keep you around. They might make sure they come to your place more often than not so you can’t just leave and they will linger for as long as they can. Sometimes they will get you wrapped up in a deep conversation that they know will take a long time. They might put on a movie and make you lay there and watch it. And if you are really lucky they might cook you a little something to make you stay there and eat. Maybe a combination of all of these. When this begins to happen, men automatically become geniuses – able to escape the intellectual post-sex prison that has been built around them.

                We will have excuse upon excuse planned to escape after our sexual encounter. For some reason we all of a sudden have to get up super early the next day for work, even if you have never heard about our job or witnessed us get up before 10. We will have appointments for things you have never heard of, “I have my paleontology appointment early tomorrow, I can’t stay.” We refuse to lose in this crazy little game. And what do we win if we succeed in all of this? Loneliness.