Pain

Pain can be a funny thing. I don’t mean pain from falling over and scraping your knee, I mean emotional pain. Pain that can be inflicted intentionally or unintentionally, pain that cannot be escaped. This kind of pain can change a person. True pain makes you real.

                Pain and struggle build character. If you know what it is to carry pain, you are prepared for challenging situations. To find someone who has been through pain is one thing, to find someone who will admit it is another. We can be too proud to admit to our pain or “weakness” and we may go as far as acting the opposite to how we feel to protect ourselves. If you can find someone who is willing and able to open up about their pain, you can assume a certain level of authenticity about that person.

                We are all ultimately looking for someone who enriches us in some way. For ladies wondering why guys “toot it and boot it,” it’s probably because you do nothing to keep them around. Maybe you talk about shit that nobody cares about, maybe you’re an idiot, or maybe you’re too easy. However, even girls who give us a challenge to keep us around eventually end up losing. Ever heard of the 5-date rule? That is when a girl will not sleep with a guy until the fifth date. All this does is makes the man accept the challenge, act interested for five dates, fuck, and flee the scene. There has to be something that keeps us around, if you enrich our lives we will treat you well. We want to learn from you and we want to teach you things.

                Pain teaches us a lot about ourselves, others, and certain situations. This knowledge gives us a greater ability to act with realness, to adapt and maintain in society with less pressure. If we bring new experiences to our partners, they will remain interested. New experiences may include, different music, different art, whatever. I play basketball, I don’t want people coming up to me every day and talking about basketball – hit me with something different and I will do likewise. Be real, tell me what’s on your mind. What I’m trying to say is that people who have discovered true pain aren’t afraid of realness. They don’t need small talk, they don’t need to lie, they know the importance of being true to themselves. They know the difference between sex and romance.

                Someone who has been through pain can support you. They are spiritually, culturally, and academically wise, as well as street smart, naturally. The way you act romantically reflects in the way you live your everyday life – there needs to be a balance. Those of us who have felt pain and struggle know the difference between sunshine and rain, darkness and the light, joy and pain. Knowing the difference between true pain and a minor interference helps define our realness. As a real man I can tell you how refreshing it is to be in the company of a real woman. Never a dull moment, never a boring conversation, and constantly learning. What more could you want?