Pet Peeve #16 – Can I Ask You A Question?

“Can I ask you a question?” What kind of answer do you expect from this? First of all, that is a question, so you have already asked me one; do you need to ask me another? If I do not wish to have any questions asked of me, you have probably already rubbed me the wrong way with your initial question. However, I will still proceed to answer it with a firm, “no.” If you want to ask me a question bad enough, I assume you will proceed to ask me the question even after I tell you not to, assuming my negative response was one of sarcasm. It wasn’t. Will I answer the question you ask me? No, since I told you not to ask it I will argue with you until I am blue in the face to let you know just how serious I was.

                Some people will even go as far as putting two questions in one sentence. Sometimes I will fall for it, but if I catch it I will give you nothing short of a sarcastic, smart-alecky response. “Can I ask you a question? Why do you have so many pet peeves?” There will never be an ask-one-get-one-free day with me. You get one question and one question only. If you attempt to double up like this I won’t even be able to answer one of these questions because my brain will begin to overheat due to a sarcasm overload. “Sorry, no two-for-ones,” is a typical response.

                “Can I ask you a question?” is a space filler. If you need to ask a question – ask it. Don’t ask permission to ask a question. That is absurd. A similar filler is, “Let me tell you this.” What do you mean let me? Nobody is holding you back, if you have the capacity to say let me, dare I say you have the capacity to tell me what it is you want me to “let you” tell me. Are you nervous? Is the filler just a warm up for what you are about to say? If so, maybe you should do some warm ups first thing in the morning, not during conversation. It’s not like athletes take a seat and start stretching in the middle of the first quarter. Get it together.