Thursday, January 3, 2013

Head Nod of Regret VS. Inception Head Nod


These two head nods are a powerful form of communication among men. Although they are similar, they mean very different things and no words need to be said to convey the messages of these nods.

                First we have the head nod of regret. This is especially common on Sunday mornings. Picture this: I wake up – my head is pounding – I wipe the eye boogers out of my eye – I take a sip of my bedside water – I realize that my bed feels unusually small – I look to my left and my right – to my right I see the back of a girls head – FROM HERE IT CAN ONLY GO TWO WAYS, KEEP IN MIND WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE HEAD NOD OF REGRET – because of all of my stirring, the girl moves, she rolls over – I see her face – I discover that not only is she unfortunate looking, but she is a clingy drama queen – I need to pee so I get out of bed – I open the door and head to the bathroom – my housemates door is open – I see some girl in his bed, making herself at home – I go to the bathroom, the door is closed – the door opens before I get a chance to knock – my housemate is obviously going through it – he notices that I am going through it – we give each other a comforting nod that says, “I am fully aware of your situation and I know you are aware of mine, lets never speak of this again.”

                Now we have the inception head nod, also common on Sunday mornings, but seen more regularly throughout the week than the head nod of regret. So picture this: I wake up – my head is pounding – I wipe the eye boogers out of my eye – I take a sip of my bedside water – I realize that my bed feels unusually small – I look to my left and my right – to my right I see the back of a girls head – FROM HERE IT CAN ONLY GO TWO WAYS, KEEP IN MIND WE ARE NOW TALKING ABOUT THE INCEPTION HEAD NOD – because of all of my stirring, the girl moves, she rolls over – I see her face – I discover that she is actually Elle Macpherson in her prime– I smile smugly to myself – I need to pee so I get out of bed – I open the door and head to the bathroom – my housemates door is open – I see some girl in his bed, naked, very naked – I go to the bathroom, the door is closed – the door opens before I get a chance to knock – my housemate is smiling smugly to himself – he notices that I am beaming with self-pride – we give each other a comforting nod that says, “We’ve done it.”

*Head nods start at about 2:45*

                Guys, you know what I’m talking about.

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