Sangria Mouth

Drunk with bloodlust, we can be so quick to bite at our peers.

Our righteous minds allow us to believe we can judge.
As if we’re so perfect.
We bite and draw blood and think we can hide behind a smile.
It’s laughable.
Blood dripping from our fangs and staining our lips, we smile in false innocence.
Like vampires, our darkness drains our victims.
Our foul mouths do damage.
But unlike the Princes of Darkness, the wounds we leave are not visible.
But they’re there, and they’re hard to ignore.
In a whirlwind of darkness our victims bite back and become us.
A downward spiral ensues and we allow darkness to conquer.
Evidence in plain sight as we deny everything with smiles on our faces.
Mouths get redder and redder.
The world gets darker.
But we continue to stand on our pedestal, pointing and judging, biting and bruising.
Blood staining our mouths in our violent tirades.
The intoxication fills us with false righteousness until we self destruct.
It looks like Sangria but doesn’t taste as sweet.
Put your glasses down.

Pet Peeve #36 – Is Something Wrong?

“No.” (Fucking YES)

                What is the point of delaying the fact that you are going to eventually admit that something is wrong and blow off all this steam? Body language tells NO lies. No matter how hard you try to lie, we can all hear the tone in what you’re saying. Soooo yes we know something is wrong, either tell us what it is and we can move forward, or you can get the fuck over it and quit with your attitude. Right? Like what is the point of this?:

                “Are you ok?”
                “Yeah, I’m fine.”
                “Okay, well I can tell you’re not. What’s wrong?”
                “Nothing.”
                “Are you sure? You don’t seem like yourself.”
                “I’M FINE! LEAVE IT ALONE!”
                “ALRIGHT! Sorry.. You hungry?”
                “...I just can’t believe that blah blah blah...”

                Why? Why waste both our time like that? Is there anything to gain? Are you building up the suspense so as to engage me more in the story? Am I going to relate more to the protagonist now when they overcome adversity? Am I going to cry real tears now when they meet their tragedy or triumph? Christ, just get it off your chest and be done with it.

                Of course, there’s always the chance that there really is nothing wrong. There’s nothing that can piss someone off quite like continually being asked what’s wrong when you’re perfectly fine. That borders on an attack on your character. Just sitting there being you and suddenly being interrogated about what your problem is... This is just who I am L

Blissfully Unaware

Love is a powerful emotion. This power is not always positive though. Love has the ability to blind us to the facts. When we stare through those rose-colored glasses, we see what we fell in love with. We put that person on a pedestal and we develop an inability to see past this idealized perception of them. This can be the case with romantic, paternal, or platonic love.

                We have all seen and experienced this countless times. A prime example is sexual infidelity. Someone gets cheated on and a friend informs them. The victim in this circumstance either takes this information on board and confronts their partner, or goes in to instant denial.

                When confronting the partner there are a number of outcomes. The partner admits it, they are either forgiven or the relationship is terminated. The partner denies it and the victim continues to believe their friend and terminates the relationship. Or the partner denies it and the victim believes them. Love blinds them to the fact that this person may be capable of doing the wrong thing whether it is intentional or otherwise. This in turn, can damage the friendship between the victim and the messenger.

                This can happen with things like addiction, whether it be shopping, gambling, drugs, porn, internet, or anything similar. We are often willing to stay in a state of denial to protect the people we love, no matter how damaging it may be to ourselves. We may be doing in subconsciously, but turning this blind eye may not only be hurting us, it may be hurting who we think we are protecting.

                If you think someone you love has a problem and they tell you they don’t, as much as you want to believe them, there’s a reason you thought there was a problem. Blindly accepting their lies will probably not end with a desired outcome. And the lies they tell may not be coming from a malicious place, they may be coming from a place of darkness, shame, and discomfort. There are numbers you can call to get help for people suffering in silence. Don’t wait until it’s too late.

Pet Peeve #35 - Don't Sit Here

Picture this: you’re 6’7” and you’re out on a date. You choose the safe option and go to dinner and a movie. Dinner went well, you paid in coupons, got her liquored up, and now she’s getting handsy. You get to the movie. Privacy shouldn’t be an issue because it’s a late show and you chose the movie that’s been out a while. Solid strategy, you should feel proud. But wait. Three trailers in, you’re getting comfortable, you’ve put your feet up on the back of the seat in front of you, her hand is moving North of your kneecap and BOOM! Some middle aged dude that smells strange comes in with his girlfriend who is dressed like Phoebe from Friends. That’s cool, wait for them to sit down in one of the other 148 seats and that hand might keep sliding up further. NOPE. Old dude asks you to put your feet down so they can sit right in front of you.

              

  “Thanks, mate.” he mutters smugly.

                Two options: lose control at this clown and inform him at high volume both verbally and physically that there are an embarrassingly large amount of seats outside of your personal space. Or sit in your seat, behind this disturbingly eccentric couple, stewing in your own madness for 96 minutes, so mad in fact that you pay no attention to the film, just to the fact that the hand that was steadily rising up your thigh now just has a tight grip on your hand and you have to eat popcorn left-handed and now you have butterbeard.

                CAUTION: THESE PEOPLE WILL FIND YOU IN WAITING ROOMS AND ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT AND THEY WILL BE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF INSANE – TO AVOID THIS TOMFOOLERY, BE THE MOST EXTREME PSYCHO IN THE ROOM AT ALL TIMES.

The Wind Up

“Remember when we used to blah blah blah together? I miss that.”

                

Oh jeez. What an inspiration. The Caitlyn Jenner level of courage it must take to send that text after not talking for several years and ending on bad terms. What actually goes through one’s mind to put this into the air? At what point do you think to yourself, “Yep. Sending this text is a good idea. It’s not creepy or weird or inappropriate at all.”

                

What good can come from that? Do you expect the reader to just respond with some fairytale shit like, “Yeah, I remember. I miss it. I miss you. We deserve another chance together. We owe it to ourselves.” Please. Best case scenario is that you get ignored and you get a chance to pretend that you never sent that message. Worst case is you get a response out of pity. Oh Lord...

                

“I do remember that [insert name here]. But that was a long time ago. I’m with someone else now and I’m happy.” That’s not what you wanted to hear, is it? So now you’re going to act out, call the reader names, call their partner names, tell them your text was a joke to begin with, just generally start acting like a tired child. What are you doing? How bored are you that you choose to instigate this type of drama AGAINST YOURSELF to get the minutes ticking over?

                
If I give you the benefit of the doubt, however, I may be able to find a slight speck of genius hidden in your actions. Maybe you too are in a new relationship. You’ve found someone, you’re pretty happy, but the passion isn’t there. You are a little bored. You would start a fight, but they’ve done nothing wrong. Light bulb – I’ll start a fight with my ex and get it all out of my system. Get my excitement fix. My taste of drama. Kudos on your diabolical relationship management skills and/or blind act of foolish courage. You are hilarious and I am starting to write a sitcom in which the main character is based on you. Now.