The Check-In

We have created the “check-in” so that our partners don’t feel the need to “check-up”. In relationships there are boundaries. These boundaries must remain respectful and comfortable for both parties. Now we’ve all experienced or witnessed the badgering questions; “Where are you?” “Who are you with?” “What are you doing?” “How late will you be?” “Why are you with them?” “When did you decide that?” And this type of interrogation can often lead to a bit of resentment, so we have created an alternate channel to keep respect and comfort in tact – “The check-in.”

                In this scenario, the person who is out and about makes the call or sends the text, “Hey sweetie, just finished dinner now headed out for drinks. Love you xx” This way the person who is at home doesn’t need to be ‘bad cop’ and slam their hands on the table throughout the interrogation. It appears as if the caller is volunteering this information freely with a little, “I’m still thinking about you!” attitude, making the partner at home comfortable and satisfied. Truthfully, there is still a little bit of, “I better send this text or else I’ll hear about it later.” in there.

                Each of these options is as bad as the other, since the person going out feels as if they will get punished if they do not comply. In the ideal world I would suggest a mutual respect within a relationship, where you understand that the rules change upon entering said relationship. You are no longer completely an individual; however you are also not completely enmeshed. Social plans with other couples will become a big thing, as will making plans together. However, that time away from each other to be with friends (maybe without the constant check-ins and with trust) is key.