Twitter

Twitter is a crazy bitch’s time to shine. Are you famous? No. Are you crazy? Yes. Do people care what you have to say? No. Will people read what you have to say simply because it is there? Yes. As I said – It’s a crazy bitch’s time to shine.

                Obviously I don’t have access to your timeline, but I think I can accurately guess at least a few recent posts from crazy bitches:

                There is one complaining about loneliness and how much she needs a man in her life. Complaining about how she can’t just meet a good man who will respect her. Well, you have to admire her honesty – but no man who reads that thirsty shit wants any parts of that action.

                There is one ‘complaining’ about how big her tits are. We get it, you have big tits, we’ve noticed. Obviously someone was not given enough attention growing up. Maybe a sibling was born when you were like four and it was cuter than you? Congratulations on all your followers – you earned them with your cleavage ridden avatar. May I recommend some self respect?

                There is a side bitch trying to expose some dude out there. He is somewhere reading your tweets laughing hysterically while his friends dap him up. You think his girl is reading the tweets and is about to confront him. She doesn’t follow you because you’re an idiot.

                There is one posting pictures of cats. We are unsure if they are supposed to be funny or cute. We label them as crazy and creepy. Get friends.

                There is one attempting to be inspirational, however we all know her and she does NONE of what she posts on social media. Practice what you preach – or be real. Choose one.

                There is one posting happy birthday to her “bestest fraaaand evaaaaaa” for the 365^th day in a row. I’ll give you a maximum of 10 best friends – which is a bit rich. And just type in English please.

                There is one posting pictures of her and her booboo kissing. She just got unfollowed. And her boyfriends unfollow button got seriously hovered over. He got a considerate “It’s not his fault.”

                Finally, there is one posting pictures of HIMSELF sleeping captioned, “She play too much, takin’ pictures of me sleep.” There is a MIRROR in the background. Unfollowed, blocked, defriended, number deleted, changed classes, transferred schools, moved interstate. Stop this mess.

                If none of this is on your timeline you have already unfollowed these clowns… Or you’re famous and you follow nobody. If you’re famous tell Diddy I’m a bad boy for life.