Hindsight 20-20

Have you ever looked back on your actions and thought you could have handled a situation a little better than you did? Over the Summer I found myself thinking about my behavior and thinking in retrospect I either shouldn’t have even acted on what I was feeling, or could have acted differently. This was happening way too often and consequently I am now teaching myself to delay gratification and think a little harder and longer before I make decisions.

                Since making a conscious effort to improve my decision making and reduce the chance of future regrets, I have been taking more notice of people embarrassing themselves. Alcohol is not the only reason people act impulsively, I have been witnessing some silly shit in sober situations. How about I share some of this ridiculousness with you?

                I was in the gym working out on a Sunday morning. This is not the time or place to pour your heart out to your best friend about your romantic life. I was lifting on the bench next to them and the kid spotting was talking about how much he loves his girl and that he was thinking of telling her. He then proceeded to tell the guy that the way he felt was “indescribable” and he could see her being his wife. He didn’t even lower his voice while he was saying all of this, there is no way I was the only witness. And hey, good for him, but this is a gym session, not a therapy session.

                Huge, elaborate, bold acts of romance need to start being planned better. If you want to make a scene to get your old girl back, or you want to propose in public; MAKE SURE YOU ARE 100% SURE YOUR GESTURE WILL WORK. It is uncomfortable to watch people getting rejected in public. I don’t like to feel embarrassed for other people.

                Remember that looking back on something, you will always have knowledge that you didn’t have at the time of your actions. To help yourself out, try to get some extra information – or at least make sure that you know you want to do what you are about to do before you act. Everything is so much clearer in hindsight, just keep in mind that there are no rough drafts in real life and actions speak louder than words.

Next Level Narcissism

Just who does our generation think they are? Recently I have experienced behaviors amongst my peers, which have made me question my own personal conduct. Incidentally, my first week of school in my personality psychology class – I learnt that people born in the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s have an inordinate fascination with themselves. This is not a coincidence, we have been raised in a world where the losing team also gets a trophy, we get academic certificates for ‘participation,’ and we never saw the letter ‘F’ on our report cards. Self-esteem is important and healthy in the correct amount, but having witnessed narcissistic behavior more and more over the past few years; it has been good to learn of a possible reason for this excessive self love.

                “What behavioral observations have you made to make you accept the above as true?” you might ask. Well, primarily there is an undying obsession with money and the need to be rich. The old saying, “Money doesn’t buy happiness,” is not just a corny anecdote. You can disagree all you want, but my one proof that wealth and happiness are not a package – Hollywood. One of my favorite actors, Will Smith, is currently going through a split with his wife Jada Pinkett. They have no shortage of currency and as happy as they may look in interviews and on the red carpet, behind closed doors was obviously a different story. So, watching people steal, cut off friends and family to become workaholics, and gamble for the chance to make a little bit of extra coin makes me stop to think – where is the line between the desire to be successful and the hunger for money?

                I have become aware that for the people in my generation, individual needs come before everything. This can be a good thing, but it seems to me that our needs are becoming more material than anything, even survival. People will literally stop eating to become thinner, without thinking about how they have been born into such a privileged society and that food should not be taken for advantage. Image has become such a large part of our lives that it can corrupt us, and I don’t just mean our physical image. People are so fixated on the “it’s who you know” phenomenon, that they don’t use who they know for anything useful. They get to skip lines in clubs and get free drinks. They get to post their photos on facebook with their almost-famous friends. And they get to tell stories about the celebrities they met, although there is no proof. Congratulations big-shot, I don’t know how you find so much time to go out every night except Monday, you know, with your big-time job and all. Oh. No?

                Before you get started on occupational status – I’ll get started. Being a student, future careers come up more often than not in conversation. Now, I don’t know exactly what I want to do when my basketball career officially ends, but I have some ideas. However, when I ask people what they want to do, it disappoints me to hear, “Anything, as long as I’m wearing a suit in business class.” Good plan. Your dream job is to dress to match your narcissistic view that you are above anyone around you. I’ve got news for you – you can play dress-up right now without getting paid for it.

                Being a young man engaging in conversations about romantic relationships at least once per day, I have come to realize that we hurt people who love us, and love people who hurt us. The other popular saying that matches this realization is, “treat ‘em mean and keep ‘em keen.” It’s a cold world out there and with the way my generation acts collectively, it won’t be getting any warmer any time soon.