The Approval

When we start seeing a new girl/guy, we will eventually have them meet our friends to find out whether or not they approve. There is a huge difference however, in the way that guys show their approval and the way that girls show their approval.

                When a girl introduces a new man to her friends for the first time, they will analyze the situation during the meeting and prepare themselves for what she believes the gossip will be afterwards. Signs women tend to look for are whether or not the guy can make her friends laugh. If he can succeed in this, it is a huge sign of approval. If he can get the group engaged in stimulating and appropriate topics of conversation, the group will naturally think he is charming. It is better for him to act too familiar and make it seem like he has been around since the birth of the group than for him to seem like an introverted loner.

                The girl will know if the guy has been approved from a couple of different ways. One is if the group lets her leave with him instead of making her stay with them and making him leave alone. If this is the case they are probably expecting the girl to take him to bed. The other way is the obvious gossip the next time the girls all meet up. They will either talk about how charming the guy is and how much they love him and how perfect the two are together, or it will be a cyclone of insults, reasons not to see him again, and general bitchiness. Either way however, the girl is probably just going to give the guy a chance since they value the chance of meeting ‘the one’ so highly.

                Guys on the other hand are a little simpler. The sheer natural shallowness of the male species will allow an instant approval/disapproval. As soon as the boys see the new lady friend, there will be a nod or a wink, nothing, or a “what the fuck are you thinking” face. Only the nod will be acceptable. If it is either of the other options, the visit will be cut short – although the relationship may not be. However, if the ever-so-cherished nod is given, it will be a long and relaxed group date. The minute the girl has to go to the bathroom, a barrage of sexual comments will be made, followed by a quick, “and she seems cool too!” Approval acknowledged.

                Now guys like to learn things the hard way. As I have said in the past, guys are good advice givers, not takers. Consequently, if the guys say anything negative like, “pursuing a relationship with this new girl is a bad idea and it will not end well,” we certainly will not listen (at least not until we have had sex with her). However, after sex it is too late – many females can take intercourse as some sort of exclusivity agreement and assume that you take it the same way. Some don’t even need sex to mentally construct this agreement. From here disaster strikes and there are no short cuts or safe routes to escape.

                The moral of this story? We like to think that our friends are influential in who we pursue romantic relationships with, but in the long run we are going to follow our hearts/genitals, not our brains. Sometimes this works out, sometimes it doesn’t. But it makes for a great story time and a life full of drama and excitement that one could write a book on, or maybe a blog.

Don't Be That Guy

Here are some of the most annoying things guys do:

Bitch: This is so entertaining. We complain about how bitchy women can be, then we go hang out with our friends and bitch all day, how ironic. We bitch about our professors, coaches, friends, girlfriends, sideline hoes, regular hoes –anything. Some of us bitch on the phone, some update statuses, some tweet, some subtweet, and some write blogs – pathetic right? The worst thing is that a bitchy guy probably bitches more than a bitchy girl, and we are probably harder to shut up.

Blackmail: Every guy out there has naked picture of at least a few girls on his phone. You girls are stupid enough to send them to us, and when we stop ‘talking’ sometimes we may get our feelings hurt and get a little bitter. Then threats start coming out about releasing the pictures you sent us (which, by the way, all of our friends have already seen). What are we threatening for? To win you back.. Good strategy.

Aight yo, I’ll see you: We just leave anywhere, at anytime, without any notice. Where are we going? Who knows. Will we tell you later? No, and probably for good reason. But just bailing on a group of friends/people randomly without saying if you’re coming back is not cool. It’s annoying.

Never pay back: We always go out and somehow forget our wallet. We promise to pay you back, and suddenly 5 years go back and you’ve bought us so many lunches that if you never met us you could have bought a small business by now.

Play games: We will be the first to complain about a girl who is playing games with us, but we will also be the first to use a girl to get another girl. All we need to do is ask the girl out, but instead we take the scenic route and hurt another girl in the process. We do this because being egotistical clowns is in our DNA.

Never use our own advice: We will add our 2 cents to every conversation, act like professionals in any situation, give advice, and never do any of the things that we tell other people to do. As much as you ladies out there don’t like to admit it, we can give some really good advice, what we can’t do is use our own advice for self preservation.

Get emotional: When something happens to us that we think is catastrophic, we become inconsolable. Girls like an emotional guy since so many of us hide our emotions (which they hate), but this does not mean they want a guy drooling and crying all over them. Go ahead and read my other post “The Hollywood Effect”. It does not only relate to women. Romeo and Juliet is a movie – do not attempt to re-enact it in real life, they were trained professionals.

Stalk: Sometimes they physically stalk. A number of friends of mine have had to get restraining orders on crazy guys. But I’m talking about things that I see on a semi-regular basis – Facebook stalking. Sitting down for hours on end going through profiles of girls, looking at their photos, checking their relationship status, seeing who they talk to, etc. Again check my previous post “Doin’ Too Much” and insert this in there – guys do too much too.

Now lastly, check my previous post “How We Drive Our Girls Crazy” and you will realize that ALL of those points should be included in this post too.