First Time

In most cases, your first time having sex is a pretty nerve wracking experience. Guys and girls obviously have different things to think about, but I will just focus on what we all have in common. When you finally get to the point where you think you’re comfortable enough to go through with it, sometimes doubt can creep in; do I look OK? Am I doing this right? Is he/she comfortable? Is he/she enjoying this? Are they as awkward as I am? How long is this supposed to take? Am I too sweaty? Obviously not the best thoughts to be having. Ideally both parties would be relaxed and comfortable. But luckily it gets better.. Kind of..

                The more you have sex with this person, the more comfortable and confident you will both become. You will know each other better sexually and your chemistry will take care of most of it. However, the more partners you have sex with, the more first times you have to encounter. A new partner means new preferences, different chemistry and personality, varied levels of sweat gland activity. Can you be 100% yourself your first time in bed with someone? Some of you super-confident Casanovas will say yes – well congratulations, you are the exception to this rule.

                The first time with a new partner is like a first date. You aren’t likely to be 100% yourself. You will say and do things that you think they want to see and hear. You want this person to like you, so you say and do what you think they will like. No one is usually crazy, possessive, and abusive on a first date.. well, maybe crazy. But these are all things that potentially come out later to end a relationship. The first time in bed is no different. Let’s say you’re a girl who enjoys a bit of butt stuff, I highly doubt that during your first time with a new partner you whisper, ‘Put your pinky in my pooper.’ It takes time to get to the level of comfort where you and a sexual partner can talk about what you like, and find out a few things along the way.

Pet Peeve #39 – Telemarketers

Okay, I understand these people have to make money somehow, but FUCK! They call at the most inopportune moments (usually meal times) and they blatantly lie about how long they are going to take. “Just a quick two-minute survey,” easily takes 15-20 minutes. Not to mention they don’t even give us a chance to say no. As soon as we say, “Hello,” they are off to the races with, “Hi Mr. McGrath, my name is Angel and I want to talk to you today about your data plan. Are you happy with your current data plan? We now offer X, Y, Z, and can give you the most value for your dollar. If you sign up today we can give you your first month free and the following three months at half price and then the fifth month at three quarter price and then the rest of the year at double the price until the next year starts at regular billing. So I’ll just sign you up for offer X today Mr. Macintosh bye!”

                All of a sudden you only have one handset but you’re paying for four plans and sponsoring two African children who never seem to age while you’re on the waiting list to donate your most important organs.

                I’m pretty sure they’re not supposed to call anyone on the ‘Don’t Call’ list, but they do it anyway. So I pick up my phone like, “Hello.. Hello?.. Hel-,”
“Hi Claire, do you currently give to any cha-,” *click*

                Unsubscribe.

Can I Have Your Number?

I never thought this would need explaining, but things are starting to get out of control. When someone summons the courage to approach you and ask for your number (which can be difficult), what is it that you think they want? Do you think this person saw you, judged you completely on face value and thought, “That’s going to be my new friend!”?

                That is not what happened. The person saw you and was physically attracted to you and either wants to get to know what you’re like on the inside (mind, soul, spirit), or on the inside...

                “Can I have your number?” is a confession. It is someone admitting to you that they think you’re cute and they are interested in going out on a date, or at least a little Netflix and chill. So when they text you or call you wanting to hang out, they aren’t looking for a new bestie. Pretty self explanatory stuff.

                **And before I get the backlash of, “Oh, so we’re just supposed to sleep with everyone who asks us for our number?” Nooooo, just know what they’re really asking for and don’t give them false hope!

You think this dude is looking for a new pal?