“Bang for your buck.” Does that even mean anything anymore?
What can you buy these days that is truly worth every cent you paid for it? Not
a bag of chips, that’s for sure.
If I
wanted a bag of air I would go and get in a car accident. These companies aren’t
fooling anyone. We can tell the bag is full of air you idiots. Let me stop
myself here. I call the chip manufacturers idiots for not filling the bags with
chips, but we still buy them. So really they are geniuses and we are the idiots,
they have to be making a killing! This can’t be legal. They are robbing us
blind.
There aren’t even enough chips in a
bag nowadays for a small child. It costs like $5 for a family bag of chips –
the bag has like nine chips in it. The worst culprit –Doritos. Don’t even get
me started on Doritos. There are not enough Doritos in the world to match the
supply of salsa in one supermarket. I buy one jar of salsa and it’s in my
fridge for months. Anyone would think I’m dating a Mexican. I’m not.
And
salsa. What’s this big obsession with salsa everybody has all of a sudden? Are
we cultured now? We think we’re cultured because we eat salsa? We’re broadening
our horizons? Stop dipping crackers in salsa (yes I’ve seen this). Salsa is for
corn chips and corn chips only. If anyone needs anything it’s a lifetime supply
of corn chips since a lifetime supply of salsa only costs $10.
At
least give us one potato’s worth of chips in one bag, or one ear of corn’s
worth in the case of corn chips. Chips are the crack/cocaine of the 21st
Century – they are in small supply, but we all love the taste and want more.
They cost almost nothing to make, yet they can’t fill up a bag for us? I can’t
stand it. I’m quitting bagged chips and moving on to tubes of Pringles. They
may be more expensive, but at least I know my tube will be full. The day they
start half-filling tubes of Pringles, I’m running for President to put an end
to this injustice.
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